FUCK you in the face Valentines Day.

Usually I am not this cynical about Valentines Day.... usually! The week went by since my last post pretty uneventfully. Until Friday. Valentines Day. Que the Deja-vu... I match with a guy on Tinder. His name is Tommy. We hit off or you know as usual, so I thought. I gave him a chance, since it didn't seem like my typical match. He's a father of 5, left leg amputee, and lived with his dad. On Friday, we had a 6 hour phone conversation, yes an actual phone conversation. To me, that's crazy since that is something I have probably never done. Or at least, not something I've done since high school. Now, the amputee thing was not an issue what so ever. The first issue was that he didn't disclose that his teeth were all rotted out. But, I will say that was also not necessarily a deal breaker, because his personality was on point with mine. He said all the right things. Aren't you sick of hearing me say that? I'm certainly sick and fucking tired of saying it. Anyhow, we went to dinner at Applebee's. Don't laugh this isn't out of my range to be honest because I don't care where I eat, could be a Coney island for all I care as long as the company is good. So the hostess asks us if we have a preference, and he instantly says booth! Awesome, because I love a good booth. They seem a little more private to me sometimes. When we are shown to our booth, he proceeds to sit NEXT to me rather than ACROSS from me. Why is this important? Because, it felt respectful. It felt like it meant that he actually wanted to get to know me, like he wanted to hear what I was saying, like he really just wanted to be close to me so we could connect better. Seemed like such a green flag, but clearly here I am writing a blog about how miserable dating has been for me. We had great conversation, we smiled and laughed, and he did the damn thing.... Taylor Swift reference.... the gazing at me starry eyed. Why the fuck do you guys even do that? You realize it makes us smile, blush, and feel like we are the only girl in the world? Now, understand this isn't just some puppy dog eyed look. I am talking staring into your soul! Like Andy did, and now Tommy. Son of a bitch. Is it just a ploy to get sex? Should I now be taking every starry eyed gaze as a plot to get me into bed? I hate myself for falling for it... again. These men have definitely perfected the art of making a woman swoon. Alright, back to the newest fuckboy... Tommy hangs out, meets the best friend, tells me I need someone to take care of me for once, tells me I am beautiful, and he could easily fall for me quickly. He starts sending me cute things on Facebook, and in fact makes an entire Facebook post dedicated to how "awesome" I am and that I am his Valentine and he was just so happy about it. The next day, I notice the post is gone. Not a big deal, but I ask him about it, and he says he didn't want to upset his kids. Hey, no worries, I have kids I totally get it right? Then, as always, the tables start to turn. Tommy says he needs to slow down and get to know me. Ok. Cool. Absolutely want to get to know each other. He asks questions about my home life and things about my past. Then, excuse number one as to why he needs to back up even further;

I own my house. I did purchase it initially with my fiancé before he died. Please someone, anyone explain to me how this man decided that he and his kids could never live here because I bought the house with another man? We had never even discussed this. Regardless, I kept answering his questions which turned into me not giving him space. So confusing. This ultimately turned into me expecting him to have his phone on him all day. I don't expect that from anyone. I especially don't expect that from a parent and someone that has a job. Life happens. I have never ever gotten angry or upset for someone not responding. My problem is when you tell me "I will always make time to check in with you." I will expect that you do that. I will give stupid Andy a small piece of credit (which was another reason I stupidly thought that was going somewhere) he actually checked in with my every single day. Regularly. I got a good morning text and a check in throughout the day. Even stranger was that if he didn't reply to me, he would come and apologize for taking so long to respond. The whole Tommy thing just turned ugly super quick. I mean this guy was a very good manipulative liar. Turns out, he's done this multiple times. I posted him on a site to ask if anyone had tea and as it turns out, after 2 dates with me, he was telling other girls he dumped me and wanted to fuck them raw. He created an entirely new Tinder account. He laughed at my Facebook post about him, which is fine considering it was absolutely about him. I am glad he saw it. I am sick of these men doing these things to a woman and then when she feels hurt by it, these same men call them crazy. We get looked at sideways if we want to trust you, and if we don't trust you, you don't realize it's because of you that we don't trust you!

Today's lesson kids.....dating fucking sucks!!! I am sure for men too, but god damn it if women don't have the short end of the stick! Good luck, babes!!